Find Something In Common With Everyone You Meet

Find Something In Common With Everyone You Meet

To build trusting relationships, it helps to look for the things we have in common with others rather than the differences. There was a guy on a project, Jason. He seemed to really have a lot of ego. He was kind of loud and seemed obnoxious to Jessica. She tended to always think of him as the obnoxious guy on the project. She knew nothing about him other than the perception she had. She did not realize they had both grown up in the same city and lived in the same neighborhood. They had very similar backgrounds and they even liked to do many of the same things. The longer the two worked together, the more they both realized they had a lot in common. As they found commonalities, there was less tension in their relationship. When you meet someone new on a project you are working on, try to find out what you have in common. If you ask enough questions, you will find something in common with them. We each have something in common with everyone. When you find you have things in common with another person, you will find it is easier to like them and to enjoy their company. We can find things in common with every person we meet whether it is something work related or we learn we have both traveled recently to Italy. Having strong relationships will help you to get promoted in your career and it always helps to forget great relationships to help make this happen!

Be Present With Your Project Team

Being Present with Your Project Team

One of the most challenging parts of communicating with others is truly being present. When we are present, we are listening to everything the other person is saying with our ears and our eyes. This means not only do we listen, but we watch how they communicate. We observe their eyes, their gestures and their body language. We listen for how the person states what they are saying. Do they sound confident? Do they have energy in their voice? Do they sound tired? Do they sound excited? Do they sound bored? What are you picking up in the conversation you are having with your team mate? In order to listen for all these things, we must concentrate on the person we are communicating with instead of on ourselves. We need to avoid thinking about our next comment or if we will sand stop thinking about whether we will sound smart in the conversation. We need to just focus on listening. After hearing and seeing what has been said, we can respond and ask questions for clarification. To truly listen, we must focus on the other person and trust that when we speak, the appropriate comment will come from our mouth. Very few people have great listening skills. If you can develop these skills (and a few others), you will go far in your career and you will get yourself promoted!

Communicating with Your Project Team

Communicating with your Project Team

When we talk to others it is important that we communicate with them at their level. This means if you are talking to someone who is highly technical, use technical terms. However, if you are talking to someone who is less technical, leave out the technical jargon. Explain things in terms that will make sense to your audience. People are often successful when talking to people with less expertise than themselves by using analogies too explain things. By talking to people and using words they are familiar with, we make them feel more comfortable. When they are more comfortable, they will like you and want to work with you. When you are on a project team, keep in mind, there are usually a variety of people on it and they all come with different backgrounds and have different expertise. Do not assume that everyone knows the acronyms you know. Even if two people who are talking are both IT people, each may be subject matter experts with different expertise. For example, a software engineer and a systems architect may be working on a project together, but each of them may need some explanation. Assume the others are as brilliant as you are, but they don’t know exactly what you know. Always think about the other person and try to make them comfortable. This will you to build strong, lasting relationships and will ultimately, help you to get promoted!

Giving Advice to Others

Advising your Project Team

If you are an expert in an area, people like to hear your ideas and opinions, but they often still like to make the ultimate decision of how to move forward on their project. Jennifer was a software engineer with a specialized area of expertise. She was called in to help Randy and Sue who were programming for the web. Jennifer immediately explained how they needed to do their project. The method for doing it was obvious to Jennifer. There were actually several ways the project could have been done. Randy and Sue had not worked with Jennifer before so she did not have a lot of credibility with them. They were both feeling hesitant to follow her lead.

When you are working on a project and you are the “Subject Matter Expert,” it is tempting to tell the rest of the group how something should be done as Jennifer tried to do. However, you may have better success if you “consult” with the group rather than telling them what to do. When you consult, you share all of the options of how to do a task. You tell team-mates the advantages and disadvantages of each option. You explain all the risks for each option. After you have explained all the options and risks you may choose to tell them which option you would recommend and why. Ultimately, you allow the group to make the overall decision. This gives everyone the opportunity to feel a part of the process. If they choose an option that was not your first choice, you accept the choice and help your team to implement it. If things do not go well, the whole team lives with the consequences and deals with them. It the project goes well, everyone can celebrate!

Happy Relationship Building!

Margo Wei