Curiosity is key to listening, learning and communicating
Has someone ever discussed something with you at work that you did not agree with? Maybe they had an idea of how the project you were working on should be done and you had a completely different idea of the direction it should go. Instead of being frustrated with the conversation, try changing your attitude to being completely curious! Think to yourself, “What could I learn about this subject or this person’s point of view?” As the person is talking, ask them lots of questions. Ask why they feel this is the best direction for the project? What are the positives and negatives of approaching the project the way they are suggesting?” Often, there are things we have not contemplated. Perhaps there are reasons to do the project the way they are suggesting it be done. There was a bank that had a website that had been up and running for a long time. They were planning to make some changes to it. The Software Engineer, Samantha, had done the original programming. She had created the site in a specific way. Jamie, who was on her team, wanted to make the site faster. He had ideas of how to do this. He went to her and explained what he wanted to do. Samantha asked him many question to learn what he planned to do and how he planned to do it. Samantha was concerned that by making the site fast, they may sacrifice security of the website. As you can imagine, this would be very detrimental to a bank! During the conversation, security came up. After listening carefully and intently to Jamie, Samantha brought up her concerns of website security and how she thought the changes would impact the site. Jamie was soon convinced that changes he wanted to make, were not worth the risk. Had Samantha immediately told Jamie his idea would never work, her relationship with him would likely suffer. Instead, she listened closely with an open mind and asked Jamie a lot of questions. She genuinely hoped he had an idea that would work.
As you are working with others, think to yourself, What can I learn?” “Why does this person think we should approach the project this way.” Ask questions of the other person. Ask them to explain their ideas and why they think you should do the project as they are proposing it. Maybe there is good reason for trying their method. You may or may not be convinced, but if you do not listen actively and use your curiosity to truly understand them, you will not understand what drives their preferences and ideas. By listening intently and keeping an open mind, you will have invested in building the relationship in a positive way. Having positive relationships, as you know, helps you to keep your career headed in the right direction!
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